Philemon 7 & 20, “For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you. Yes, brother, I want some benefit from you in the Lord. Refresh my heart in Christ.”
Have you been going through a time when you felt your heart needs to be refreshed? Do you need those “words fitly spoken like apples of gold in pictures of silver” spoken to you through a brother or sister in Christ? Maybe you need to feel appreciated and loved, and God provided a special friend to give you words of affirmation that blessed you in your need of making a decision. That is what Philemon had done for Paul and other Christians in their community in Colosse. He had provided words and actions of comfort when needed.
In this book of Philemon, Paul appeals to the reader, Philemon, as a “brother” and does not refer to himself as an apostle, as he did in nine of the thirteen letters he wrote to the churches or individuals at the beginning of his letters. This is the only place where Philemon is mentioned, who Paul considered his close friend. Philemon had a servant named Onesimus, who was guilty of running away and possibly of theft. Paul is writing with words of emotion to Philemon to receive him back favorably and without vindictiveness because Onesimus has had his heart totally changed by Christ, is now not merely a slave, but a brother in Christ, and found refuge in Paul, in Rome. Paul would have preferred to keep Onesimus with him (mentions him in Colossians 4:8 as a faithful and dear brother) but was sending Onesimus back to Philemon and was requesting he forgive him and receive him back. Paul’s letter was brilliantly written with tact and grace, and his position of authority was never used in his persuasive strategy on requesting reconciliation for Onesimus by Philemon.
Philemon’s wife was probably Apphia, who Paul includes in this letter. “Regarding the escaped slave, “She is as much a party to the decision as her husband, because according to the custom of the time, she had day-to-day responsibility for the slaves.” (Rupprecht). We, women, are more tender-hearted, so it is thought Paul may have included her in this letter to favorably influence her husband, Philemon, in making the final decision regarding Onesimus in granting Paul’s request. Paul’s tone throughout the letter to Philemon is a loving appeal and not an authoritative command, which was the wisdom that Paul used in this situation towards Philemon on behalf of Onesimus.
A life touched and changed by God is the foundation of evangelism, and Paul acknowledges that in the life of Philemon. Paul reflects on how Philemon had abundantly refreshed the hearts of others. “It was logical that Onesimus escaped to Rome, the biggest city of the Roman Empire. Lightfoot says . . . But at his providential meeting of Paul in Rome, Onesimus met the man who had led his master Philemon to Jesus (Philemon 19).” Paul sends Onesimus back to Philemon, in the hope that he will be taken back and be dealt gently with by Philemon and to be shown mercy.
“Paul made his appeal and made it strong and skillfully. At the same time, he did leave the decision to Philemon. He would appeal in love, but he would not trample over the rights of Philemon.” David Guzik Commentary. Paul gave Philemon the freedom to make the right decision. Paul had led Philemon to Christ and was his spiritual father.
Paul was a man of grit. Yet, in this letter, we see Paul using tactful persuasive words that are gentle, kind, and out of love and concern. He sincerely complemented Philemon in verses 4-7. David Guzik’s Commentary also stated (Paul speaking): “Philemon, it seems to me that God is working in unusual ways here. Let me tell you what I see, and perhaps it will make sense to you.”
Do you need to have someone refresh your heart in Christ? Do you need someone to come along beside you like Paul did to Philemon in helping to make sense out of a situation, or help in a compelling appeal you need to make in a relationship? Ask God to provide that person. Ask God to show you a verse that will refresh your soul and give you the peace and rest that your soul needs (Matt. 11:28). Then look for someone you can also do the same for in not being a hostile critic, but in providing your love, comfort, and joy in being refreshed through you as God’s servant in saying, “Let me tell you what I see, and perhaps it will make sense to you.”
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