1 Corinthians 4:3-5 NIV: “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court, indeed. I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait until the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.”
Last week I wrote about being complete in Jesus Christ and realizing the fullness of God resides within our hearts due to His grace. I want to try to take this one step further.
A good friend made the statement recently that our daughters have a much higher level of pressure regarding feeling approved in society than we did at that age. He sees it in TV commercials promoting just the right clothes, jewelry, body size, cars, vacation destinies, etc. The promotional train of thought is subtle. It gives the notion that if you have this, or go to these places, you will be fulfilled and have full acceptance in society. You will then be good enough. You will then be popular. That is not what the Bible tells us.
Paul didn’t have that problem. He didn’t care how people judged him. How did he do that? Not care about people’s criticisms? He lived life with the fact that God was his only judge. God’s evaluation of Paul, was all that mattered to him. Probably some of the Corinthians spoke disparagingly about Paul’s speaking effectiveness (1 Cor. 1:17 “. . . not with words of eloquent wisdom”). Paul admitted he perhaps was not the best speaker. He wasn’t trained at Toastmasters in being an active, eloquent, and entertaining speaker. Paul just wanted these people to know how Christ had forgiven (1 Tim. 1:15) his past sins, saved him, and transformed his sense of self-worth and identity. He was not controlled by people’s opinions of him. How do I get there too?
Darts of shame, failure, guilt, and frustration are frequently the names of arrows I have to pull out on the target on my back one by one. I often am afraid I am not good enough, smart enough, or just plain “enough” at times. As I have said before, “will I ever grow up?” Can you relate?
1 Corinthians 2:3-5 NIV, gives us insight into Paul’s humanness and humility: “I came to you in weakness with great fear and trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power.” Paul was one of the most well-educated of all of the apostles. He grew up in Tarsus, where he learned to speak Koine Greek, the common language of the Roman Empire. He also learned Hebrew or Aramaic. Paul had studied philosophy and the arts. Gamaliel, a Jewish law teacher, tutored Paul in Jerusalem. As a Pharisee, he excelled in his skills of communication with both Jews and Gentiles.
God used Paul because he relied solely on the Holy Spirit’s power and not his own. In spite of Paul’s self-admitted weaknesses, he became one of the greatest missionaries of all time. God blessed Paul because he was faithful, obedient, and had a humble heart. His ego was not over inflated. That is how Paul maintained a level head. That is how he kept from being discouraged by people’s cutting words. Paul did not live to please people. His conscience was clear. People will judge no matter what. Paul knew there was nothing he could necessarily do to stop that. It was their problem and not his. I don’t think I am there yet. Are you?
Timothy Keller wrote a very short book: “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.” There are only 46 pages to this book which is based on 1 Corinthians 3:21-4:7. He talks about our ego: “It is always making us think about how we look and how we are treated. People sometimes say their feelings are hurt. But our feelings can’t be hurt! It is the ego that hurts – my sense of self, my identity. Our feelings are fine! It is my ego that hurts.”
Paul’s ego was not puffed up. It was properly balanced. His faith solely rested in the power of God. Criticism would not keep Paul up late at night. It would not bother him. He did not put too much value in other people’s opinions of himself. OK, you are thinking, but wait, he was a male and not a female. That is easy for a man. The truth of Paul’s words is still true for us women as well.
Words are vital to me. I am a people pleaser. I am like a recovering alcoholic in my journey of not being devastated by my mistakes and failures, and then from my perceptions of others evaluations. I so often take two steps forward, and one step back and have a relapse. I don’t want to let anyone down. I still have this high need of needing full acceptance from people. But as my mother told me growing up, “Linda, get your eyes off of yourself, and onto others.”
Romans 3:23 ESV, states: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Yes, all have sinned. But Romans 5:8 tells us we are preapproved: “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Jesus said in John 15:4-5 NKJV: “I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” That is it. I can do nothing. I must simply abide in Christ each and every day. I must meditate on growing in the knowledge of Christ’s love for me, through His Word, and holding onto the fullness of His power from the grace He freely gives. I must simply be obedient, take a breath and ask myself, “OK, now what would God do and will this matter for eternity?”
When falling into the trap of comparing yourself to someone else and feeling less than, remember these truths:
- “A superiority complex and an inferiority complex are basically the same. They are both results of being overinflated.” Timothy Keller, “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.”
- God judges motives and intentions by what is in the heart.
- Do not be inflated with pride. Are you exalting yourself or God?
- You have the fullness of God inside of you.
- The Bible says you are already full! You are already rich! 1 Cor. 4:8, Ephe. 3:14-19.
- If you make a mistake, it is just that. It is not the end.
- Do everything for God’s glory and leave it there. 1 Cor. 10:31.
- Be able to end each day with 2 Timothy. 4:8 on your lips: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
- God rewards those that seek him. Hebrews 11:6b.
We must bring our focus back to glorifying God, not behavior, self, or others perhaps misconceived and possible misunderstood perceptions. At times there is nothing you can do in response. We are not responsible for others actions. Pleasing God should be our top priority and nothing else.
Satan wants to cause disruptions in relationships and taunt our feelings of self-worth. Be on guard. Have the promises of God at your fingertips to fight back insecurities and get back your reassurance and hope in the Lord. People will hurt us. We will be treated wrongly in life. Bottom line – there is nothing you can do to change others reactions. Christ paid for it all on the cross.
Quote: “People are either going into a trial or coming out of one.” Pastor Todd Smith, Crossroads Community Church. No one is exempt.
Question: Who do you envy? Why?
Question: Who needs your prayers for them today that has greater needs than your own current burden? Let them know you are praying for them.
My prayer for today: “Oh God, I blow it so often. I say stupid stuff and then wish I could grab it back and do a replay. How I cringe when I make mistakes. But You love me anyway. I love that Your forgiveness is everlasting. You do not hold grudges. Help me to remember next time, that there are instances where I need to simply do nothing. I can’t fix it. Help me to have a balanced ego – not too much and not too little. Tell me who I need to encourage today. Amen.”
Listen to Matthew West’s song “Mended.”