James 1:19, “Know this my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.”
James 1:19 was timely for me in what God was showing me to do in a meeting I had this week in my job. I needed to let Him do the talking to me first, and then I proceeded to attempt to “be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” I realized it is OK if I don’t know what to say right away and reminded myself to smile. When the ego is triggered, how often doesn’t anger become festered? Pursuing righteousness isn’t always reached for first. “Unrighteousness is the enemy’s invitation. Righteousness is upright living that aligns with the expectations of God.” Priscilla Shirer, The Armor of God. The Breastplate of Righteousness. If I, if we, listened more first, arrogance wouldn’t be as likely to come out and those words and that tone of voice needs to be put in the garbage can.
Being a good listener shows others that their opinions matter as much as yours. Asking more questions will help to show you want to understand, yet don’t act like an interrogator. That will put people in a defensive mode.
Words of wisdom are found in the book of Proverbs regarding the need to use gracious words when reacting to difficult types of people. Proverbs 29:11 is one answer, “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” Then Proverbs 22:11 states, “He who loves purity of heart, and whose speech is gracious, will have the king as his friend.” Do I rest in God’s promises when triggered? Not always, but I need to do that more consistently instead of lashing out. I need gracious words to be on the tip of my tongue, due to my faith, hope, and love God has shown to me. 2 Timothy 1:7 declares, “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” This is where being slow to speak comes in, which James is teaching about in James 1.
David Guzik’s Blue Letter Commentary states: “In light of the nature of temptation and the goodness of God, we must take special care to be slow to wrath, because our wrath does not accomplish the righteousness of God. Our wrath almost always simply defends or promotes our own agenda.” There is a lot of truth in that statement.
So, when you don’t know exactly what to say in a tense conversation with someone, they may just like hearing their own voice talk and not want to listen to what you have to say. It is OK. Let them have their agenda. Yours is to seek Jesus in all things, listen to His voice, and give Him glory. The Message says James 1:19-21 this way, “Post this at all the intersections, dear friends: Lead with your ears, follow up with your tongue, and let anger straggle along in the rear. God’s righteousness doesn’t grow from human anger. So throw all spoiled virtue and cancerous evil in the garbage. In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation garden of your life.”
Listen to Phil Wickham official lyric video Worthy of My Song.